Or “Lessons in Nothingness.”
Coming back from our honeymoon, where we spent an entire week on a cruise with the entire family, there is so much to say, and I barely know where to begin.
What an absolutely beautiful week! I was so busy having fun, I very nearly forgot about “the cancer”, for a while at least. What a treat to just breathe in the ocean air and relax on our balcony, watching the waves slap up against the side of the ship. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to just breathe.
Actually, in hindsight, it’s probably my inability to just stop and breathe for a while that caused my body to go out of whack like this. If I could do it over again, I would have taken more time to just relax over the years.
I’ve spent most of my life scurrying towards my goals, busily trying to overachieve, frantically attempting to surpass my own expectations for myself. I’ve been so busy trying to cram 2 lifetimes into one, and rarely took any time just for myself.
Why was I doing this? What part of me felt this insane need to be in constant competition with myself? When did I stop running long enough to even get a decent night’s sleep? Why did I take such pride in telling people “I work 18–20 hour days”?
During our honeymoon, Michel and I never checked our email once. We didn’t log on to the internet at all, even though our businesses are entirely web based and we are both so used to constantly staying vigilant and working around the clock on our businesses. We were so proud of ourselves for taking the entire week off, because it was so unusual for us to allow ourselves this treat.
Well, not anymore, let me tell you! Now that I’ve allowed myself this rare treat, allowed myself to feel what it is like to live without stress for one week, I want more, and dammit, I’m going to claim it!
In fact, it might even save my life.
Michel and I talked about how fast-paced our lives were in the year leading up to this, and we made a vow to each other to take more time to relax and play. This event in our lives is a huge wake up call for both of us, and we are determined to listen to what my body is trying to tell us.
We have already taken steps to making this happen for us. We’re cancelling a few of the seminars we were scheduled to speak at (our speaking schedule was absolutely crazy this past year). We’ve decided to spend more time focused on the creative side of our business, and less on the hustle and bustle of constant travel. This doesn’t mean we won’t speak at seminars, it just means we need to cut back on how often we travel.
And most importantly, we are more determined than ever to take as many moments as we want to do absolutely nothing. I never realized how hard it was for me to do absolutely nothing. Seriously! Not working. Not cleaning. Not cooking. Not speaking. Not even listening to music or watching television. Just breathing.
If I can master the art of doing nothing, like I’ve mastered so many other skills, I think I can use this to generate as much healing energy as I need in the coming months.
We’ve been listening to audios by Dr. Wayne Dyer a lot in these last few days, and this is one of the lessons he teaches. It’s a lesson I desperately need to hear right now. Mastering the art of doing nothing is the toughest thing I’ve ever done.