Archive for Mastectomy

Tests Are In, The Doctors Are Certain

MRI - Magnetic Resonance ImagingMon­day was the day that I was sche­du­led for breast MRI tests. This is one of many dif­fe­rent types of tests I will be under­going in the coming weeks, months, and pro­bably years.

Such a strange expe­rience, and not exactly what one might expect.

First, when the nurse was sche­du­ling me, she asked the weir­dest ques­tions, like “Have you ever had metal in your eye”. Metal in my eye? I tried des­pe­ra­tely to remem­ber any ins­tance in my childhood that might have resul­ted in me having any shards of metal that I may have for­got­ten. Appa­rently, this machine con­sists of such a power­ful mag­net that if I had ever had metal in my eye…well let’s just say it would have remo­ved itself during the MRI. Blecch!

So need­less to say, I was a bit ner­vous when the test began. I fer­vently hoped I hadn’t for­got­ten some lead pen­cil acci­dent or something. Stran­gely, I squinched my eyes clo­sed, hoping that if I had for­got­ten anything, I wouldn’t expe­rience anything awful (as if kee­ping my eyes clo­sed would actually help).

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Prepared For Tomorrow’s Mastectomy

MastectomyWell, we’re down to the wire, folks. For the past two weeks, I’ve been pre­pa­ring myself for tomorrow’s surgery.

I’ve read more infor­ma­tion about breast can­cer in the past two weeks than I ever thought was pos­si­ble to read. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could pass a medi­cal exam on the sub­ject by now…

I’ve sur­fed online for pic­tu­res of what a mas­tec­tomy looks like, to help shield myself from the abso­lute shock of seeing what it will look like. It ain’t pretty, but at least I know what I’m in for…

I’ve read count­less survivor’s sto­ries and have laughed and cried along with them…

I’ve read each and every com­ment and thoughts from friends and peo­ple I’ve never met, which has hel­ped enor­mously. Man, I can’t tell you how good it is to know I’m not doing this alone…

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Quick Note That I’m At Home Now

I woke up a short time ago and am hea­ding back to bed shortly. My body said “hey, time for your meds”. :)

But I wan­ted to take a quick moment to update ever­yone and let you know that I am home and am being cared for by the best nur­ses in the world. My dear hus­band has been beside him­self making sure I have everything I need. He’s teaching me that it is ok to let someone else take care of me for a change. I can’t ima­gine going through this without his und­ying love and support.

My won­der­ful brother has been hand­ling the hou­se­work and taking care of the dog for me, and his strength and help mean so much to me. I’ll never for­get how he’s willing to set aside his own life for me at this time.
(These two men are ama­zing caregivers!)

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Life After The Mastectomy

NurseWell, now that I’m home and res­ting com­for­tably, I thought it would be a good time to fill in the blanks on how things went at the hospital.

I won’t lie and say that it was a fun expe­rience. For anyone who needs to undergo any kind of sur­gery, there’s no such thing as a truly fun day at the hos­pi­tal. Howe­ver, I’ve never been the type of per­son to allow pain or dif­fi­culty to take over my life, nor do I wish to com­pli­cate the lives of others around me by whi­ning and complaining.

So, I made a deci­sion about how this day was going to be, and I refu­sed to let anything inter­fere with my decision.

I deci­ded to see how many times I could make peo­ple laugh while I was there, and I also deci­ded I was not going to need to stay over­night at the hos­pi­tal. These were the two things I chose to focus my atten­tion on, as my way of dea­ling with my day.

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Life Happens Between Appointments

Hospital Waiting RoomAfter the diag­no­sis, Michel and I took the time we nee­ded to absorb it all and deal with it on an emo­tio­nal level. We were in wai­ting mode, wai­ting for the first appoint­ment with the onco­lo­gist who would tell us what kind of che­mothe­rapy treat­ment regi­men would be requi­red. We were wai­ting for the first appoint­ment with the radio­lo­gist who would tell us how the radia­tion treat­ments would be admi­nis­te­red. And we were wai­ting for test results to tell us what type of hor­mone the­rapy I would be given.

The wai­ting is one of the most dif­fi­cult things we need to deal with. Wai­ting to get more infor­ma­tion. Wai­ting to find out what hap­pens next. Wai­ting to learn how long I’ll be going through this.

Wai­ting to “live” again.

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