Archive for Survival

How Do I Tell My Family?

Talk FamilyI’m getting married on Sunday, and I still don’t know whether or not I should tell my family and friends about my early diagnosis of breast cancer. After all, the doctor hasn’t done all the tests yet, and it might not be breast cancer after all. A girl can hope, can’t she?

Questions flood my mind in the moments between tears. Dammit! I don’t have time for tears! I have a wedding to prepare for.

My fiancee and I talk about how to handle this. We decide we don’t want to tell anyone just yet. After all, we want tears of joy at our wedding, not tears of sorrow. We don’t want people crying over how “tragic” this is, on the happiest day of our lives.

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You and Me and…Oh Right, No Baby

BabyGetting ready for our upcoming nuptuals means running around like a lunatic at the last minute. We are so busy handling all the last minute details that we barely have time to breathe, let alone think about what we’re “going through”.

In the midst of all the wedding errands, we got a bit of reprieve when we picked up the best man at the airport. Craig is one of our very best friends, and he is one of the few we decided we were ready to tell about this “issue”. The main reason we felt Craig should be one of the first to know is because he is one of those incredibly shiny people who seems to stay strong and happy no matter what is happening around him. He’s a rare gem, a man who can actually handle hearing about this without falling apart or succumbing to “oh, you poor thing” thinking.

Michel and Craig are best friends, and Michel needs a shoulder to lean on right now. Craig not only won the job of best man, he also won the job of best shoulder to lean on.

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Party at a Time Like This?

Bachelorette PartyToday was our pre-wedding party, our bachelor and bachelorette party. Most of the guests who will be at the wedding on Sunday came early so they could be at the party. We chose to hold it at a bar, and not separate parties like most people have. Now, more than ever, we needed to be together, especially since this would be our first “public appearance” since the diagnosis, and we needed each other’s strength.

As Michel and I got ready for the party, and we were choosing our outfits (jeans and a cheesy Bride and Groom t-shirt, of course), it dawned on me that wearing a bra tonight was not going to happen. Lately, it hurts to wear a bra for longer than an hour or so. I carefully chose an undershirt to wear under the t-shirt and hoped I would be able to keep smiling no matter what.

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Cancer Can’t Bring Me Down Today!

Wedding DayThis has been the most amazingly beautiful day of my life, and the memories we created today will last a lifetime!

We got married! Yippee! (If you haven’t seen it already, check out our wedding blog at

I am in a state of absolute joy today. I couldn’t be happier. After all, I got to marry my very best friend, a man I actually love hanging out with. A man who inspires me and makes me laugh. Michel amazes me with his sharp intelligence and brilliant creativity, and his ability to see the good in everything and everyone constantly floors me. I mean, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

Simply put, we were meant to be together. He is my soulmate.

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Cruising Towards Healing

CruisingOr “Lessons in Nothingness.”

Coming back from our honeymoon, where we spent an entire week on a cruise with the entire family, there is so much to say, and I barely know where to begin.

What an absolutely beautiful week! I was so busy having fun, I very nearly forgot about “the cancer”, for a while at least. What a treat to just breathe in the ocean air and relax on our balcony, watching the waves slap up against the side of the ship. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to just breathe.

Actually, in hindsight, it’s probably my inability to just stop and breathe for a while that caused my body to go out of whack like this. If I could do it over again, I would have taken more time to just relax over the years.

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